20 Clichés You’ll Definitely Have To Deal With At Your Wedding! (Including Gossip-y Aunties)

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Weddings are glorious occasions full of love, laughter and tears.But they also have their baggage which is funny, weird and at times, awkward. So many things go wrong, so many turn out to be unexpected, but many are cliched and run their course. Here are our top 20 wedding clichés! ( Tick the ones that fit your bill!) 1. Aunties with the unnecessary advice  A subtle tag for ‘bitchy aunties’ who are not directly related to your family but yet pretend to be! Your mom will get advice on what saree to wear and how. You will get tons of advice on how to "keep" a man chained to the house and men are all "like that only!". And worse, they keep predicting all the things that can go wrong at a wedding. Oof! 2. Giggling cousins in a corner There will always be a gang of teenage giggling cousins on either sides of the wedding gang. They will move in lots, click endless pictures and of course, giggle a lot. And take advantage of the freedom their parents gave them and flirt away all night long. 3. The "lets make you fairer" brigade For obvious reasons the makeup wali wants to paint your face white so that you become the ‘fair bride’. Every woman in the wedding house will tell you to put this cream and that cream and bathe in haldi to look "gori" for the day. It’s pointless to even expect them to understand! 4. The bhukkad This guy/ girl can be spotted polishing off all the delicious snacks that waiters are busy taking around. They even assign a waiter to bring them all the goodies from the kitchen before anyone else gets a chance. And, no, they don’t stop with hogging on snacks alone…you’ll wonder if they were on a hunger strike earlier once you look at their dinner plates! 5. The moms and aunts who cry you a river You warn them hundred times but they will cry and make you cry as well! Waterproof makeup is your solution! As for them who remind you every single minute that you are going away from family - there is no solution. 6. “Last chance to run away!” signs + Bad Marriage jokes It just makes it look like the groom doesn’t want to get married and the bride forced him. It may piss you off as a bride, so just endure - it's the done thing. Plus, those stupid "marriage" jokes copied from whatsapp and the scary predictions of what the "future of the groom" will be like - not so fun! 7. Old uncles grooving to One Direction or the latest item number This one is highly embarrassing and totally the done thing. The calm uncle from Jhansi will become Kanye West under the influence of a few glasses of whiskey and will dance the night away. The aunty who is forever grumpy will suddenly jump up and become Beyonce. Thank god, she doesn't know twerking. 8. The VERY drunk groomsman There will be at least one friend from your or your hubby’s side who will be more than a little ‘high’ at the wedding. He might trip and fall at that wire of the video cam, dance on top of the table or start taking over the DJ console 9. Slightly embarrassing grandmother She is the one who threatens to die any moment if the couple doesn’t procreate the night of the wedding itself! Awkward sex advice follows in loud volumes! And inappropriate jokes! 10. Forcing the couple to dance/ or lift the bride This one needs no explanation! 11. But first, let me take a selfie Getting ready selfie, fingers in V sign selfie, bridesmaid swag selfie, loo selfie. Yes. There is now a selfie for everything. 12. Guests trying to look bridal You can’t do anything about these people. They wear all the gold they have and look like a goddess. Upstaging the bride is their sole mission. Unless you know beforehand that a cousin is going to wear the same colour as you, politely ask her if she can switch outfits with some other function. It’s your day after all! 13. Constant questions about the ring or the diamond necklace the "grooms side" gave you “What is the colour? How many carats?” Yes, you will get such shameless questions about your ring so be prepared to answer them. Just a civil ‘I don’t know’ should work! 14. Social Media crazy Instagram, Snapchat, Whatsapp, Wedding Apps. The list is endless! If you are sensitive about privacy then you can politely tell your guests to not post anything too personal. But if only that can be controlled, heh? 15. Complaints over food Whatever you do it’ll never be enough. You’ll always have an earful of complaints about how the dal isn’t that great or the roti wasn’t “just hot enough”. Or the noodles are dry and no, the gulab jamun was too sweet. But in the end, the food is over! :) 16. Clichéd Music Don’t get us wrong, we love the traditional shehnai music. It's irrelevant how many Honey Singh songs will play which will annoy you to no end but will be a part of any baraat! 17. Comparisons aplenty There are going to be comparisons to weddings across the family and friends circle. The entry of the bride was better or the flower arrangement was so much bigger, people will talk. IGNORE! 18. Over-excited baraatis These ones can be a tad bit embarrassing as well as entertaining. You just go with the flow as they dance or just let the other excited people in the house take care of them. They are those irritatingly happy ones - just smile and wave! 19. Sleeping kids everywhere You walk around the venue and what do you see? Kids sleeping on the grass, on the chairs, on the bed.....you get the drift! These kids get so tired after running around that they will lie down at the weirdest of places. 20. The one cousin who acts like she is the star of the show We fondly call them heroines - they act like the wedding is about them and are always ready for a photo-op. They will pout away to glory! Have a cliche we missed out? Tell us in the comments section!  - Apoorva Pagar  Gifs courtesy: Giphy.com