#WMG Dilemma: Is It Rude To Hint for the Ring You Want?
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Yes, we know. You're happy to just be getting engaged... whether it's with a huge rock or a piece of string, you wouldn't really care! It's the emotion attached that matters, right? The ring is just a symbol of the bond you'll both share! But after a while you realise... you want a particular type of ring on that finger! After all, it is something that you're going to be wearing more or less all the time, so why not have something that you love and want? You wouldn't wanna be stuck with a ring you don't like forever!!
Why is your choice different from his?
Unfortunately for men, different girls have a different 'the ring'. Most girls have a vision of the kind of ring they want on that special finger... from a more practical wedding band to a gigantic stone, we all have our likes and preferences when it comes to the stone, cut, carat or metal colour. One might like a flashy solitaire in white gold, while someone else might consider a plain etched gold band more personalised. For some of us, it's as simple as just wanting a bigger and flashier stone than our sisters or friends to show off with. Because, the ring is the biggest conversation starter for the next few months, alright!
How does one get the ring you want?
Once you start thinking about all this, that's when it hits you. How do you get that specific type of ring that you want? Of course, your beau is no mind reader. And especially considering the fact that he is a man, you start to get nervous! Your likes and dislikes are at the opposite end of the spectrum... and hell, his idea of an engagement ring might be totally different from yours! But then again, asking him directly could be rude.... what if his budget is a serious concern? Ummm... would hinting about the ring be pressurising him too much... emotionally and financially? Or would it give him the impression that you're too picky about things... or what if he thinks that you doubt his choice?
Solutions, solutions
Of course, the simplest way to deal with this situation is to somehow schedule picking or designing the ring together after discussing about it. In that case, you should know an estimated budget before hand, especially if your man is funding the ring himself. You wouldn't wanna go there and pick out something which is way out of his capacity, which could put him in a spot. For all you know, your man might suggest that himself or tell you to pick whatever you want!
That's the ideal situation which might work for some of you, but not be the way to go for others. While some of us might find it rude to ask for the ring, others may like the element of surprise or wouldn't wanna put too much pressure on our man. But remember to appreciate one thing no matter what... the ring he gets you is because he likes it, and he's putting a lot of effort and money behind it!
So here are some tips to give a hint about the type of ring to him, but very subtly!
- Have a clue about his budget. If you cannot ask him directly, then try the infamous '3-month salary' dialogue. Ask him how many months' salary is an engagement ring worth... do the math and you have a tentative budget! You can then find the kind of ring you want for that price.
- If you're one of those who just wants a practical band over a flashy ring, make sure to make it clear to him! But you'll have to convince him that it's what you really want and you're not just saying it! Tell him that you guys could spend the money saved from the ring on something else like your honeymoon!
- Go online and check out some designs of rings you like. Or maybe if you find something you like in a magazine. You could just casually ask him what he thinks about it. Don't stress on the fact that this is exactly what you want, he's smart enough to get the hint! Do note, that he need not buy the ring you asked for - but something close to the design, in HIS budget. Make that very very clear!
- Leave the page with the image of the ring you want on your laptop browser or phone, so that he can see you were checking it out. sneaky but worth all the effort because, really - he cannot just spend all his hard-earned money on something that's not you.
- While hanging out in a group, point to a friend's ring you like and make sure your man sees this. Might not be 100 percent effective because men mostly don't notice such things, but it's worth a shot!
- If your sister/mother/BFF and your man are close, then she can offer to help and go ring shopping along with him to pick out something you'll like. Or maybe she can tell him to Whatsapp images in case of doubt.
- Enter a jewellery store when you're in the mall, to just 'take a peek'. Pick out some rings that you like and try them on... if you like a specific stone or metal colour, make sure to pick rings only of that type so he remembers. If you pick up too many different types, then it might confuse him. That's also a good time to tell him your ring size!