#FirstPerson: "There Is Too Much Pressure To Wear A Designer Lehenga..."

Recent bride from Mumbai, Poorna shares with us her thoughts on what she thinks is a new kind of social pressure- the need to flaunt a name designer. We thought her point of view was a refreshing change, so over to her.. "Marriage is that one day in your life that you’ve always wanted to look perfect on. You won’t make any sacrifices and you will travel distances to find that perfect ‘lehenga’ of your dreams. And you go nuts wondering which silhouette will fit you and which colour matches your skin tone. Sounds familiar? Yep, I was in the same boat too.   All this crazy planning and confusion about the D-Day outfit is absolutely NORMAL. Every single bride goes through it. From pinks to purples to silver and gold, so many ideas and so many choices. There are a lot of articles on WMG to help you solve that problem of yours - labels, designers and tailors. But I'm here to talk about another serious issue that gets most brides in a tizzy - the problem of the Designer Lehenga. The big question that looms over you the moment you start your wedding planning is by far the most complicated one. Do you really need to spend 4 lakhs over that gorgeous ‘Sabyasachi lehenga’ you saw on Deepika or that 3 lakh ‘Manish Malhotra lehenga’ you saw on Alia Bhatt? If you are one of those girls who can buy a big name designer  without even thinking twice about the  money, you are blessed. But am talking about those of us for whom looking good is just as important but the lehenga is another cost after the gifts, the decor and the jewellery. As well as those of us who want to probably use that money for other things like a trip around the world for a honeymoon. Or those of us who would rather spend on a cocktail dress that you wear again and again instead of a heavy lehenga you wear only once. Questions, questions! For all those who have the same queries, here we go. First things first, you’ve got to understand the emotional and financial pressure your folks are going through at that moment. Of course, your feelings matter too, but if you really want to be happy for the rest of your life and have no regrets about how you made them feel, then you need to see the bigger picture here. If you feel that your folks are resistant about the “expensive designer lehenga” idea, then do give it a second thought without persisting too much. I would say even if your folks are not the ones to force you to think over it, ask yourself “Do you really want to spend lakhs over something you would wear just once in your life for maybe 5-6 hours?” Know your priorities and jotting them down will help. But if the picture of Kareena or Katrina in a designer lehenga keeps cropping up in your dreams and your wallet isn't budging, then it's time to know the truth. These celebrities we see wearing these lehengas, wear them for absolutely FREE!! It is a marketing strategy just so people like us fall in love with these outfits and crave to have them in our wardrobes! So indirectly, you are actually paying at least 4-5 times of the actual price of something that a celebrity either wore for FREE or was PAID to wear!! Ultimately the choice is yours, but I have to tell you something that you should certainly know – no one, and I mean NO ONE will talk about your outfit 5 days after your wedding. It will be right there hanging in your wardrobe for the rest of your life and no matter how much you convince yourself, you will 99% not end up wearing it again. Another thing you need to keep in mind is peer pressure. The pressure to wear a designer lehenga can be heavy and people will push you saying that it's a once-in-a-lifetime thing or "aree yaar, it's your wedding, get the best". Yes, friends will push you towards the “designer lehenga”, but if that friend is married, ask her if she ever wore her designer lehenga again. And if she is not, wait till her time arrives to be in the same situation and only then will she understand. Every lehenga is beautiful if you put your head into design and get all the fabulous frills you want at the budget you want. Find a tailor who understands embroideries and work - show him brochures, magazines and posters so you can get the lehenga of your dreams in less. There is a possibility that you might get swayed into the salesman saying “Yeh lehnga Alia Bhaat ne pehna tha …. Iss movie mein” but I would suggest don’t go for ‘fakes’ or ‘copies’ on your wedding day. The least you want to do is not look confident on your D-Day just because you are wearing a copy. Also, designers have worked hard to be where they are and let’s respect their work and not encourage copies in the market. However, take inspiration from places and add your own twist - make it unique! Remember, on your wedding day, you are going to look like a million bucks even if you wore the simplest lehenga available. The make-up, the jewellery and your bridal glow will talk for itself! Be confident and most importantly – “Be YOU”! Don’t let the designer lehenga decide your worth, girl!! By Poorna Daftari Poorna is the Founder of GoFigureWith Poorna, a fitness venture. She's been Yoga and Pilates instructor since the last 4 years. She's a Dietician (formerly at Asian Heart Hospital) and has been a former Research Editor for YOUTOOCANRUN.